90 Comments

"We called mum The InterBet, because of the speed with which she could disseminate family, local, or world news sitting by her landline phone." This made me laugh so much, it could have been a perfect description of my mum. What a lovely piece, it's made me think about how often I am annoyed with my mum but also how much I will miss being annoyed by her when the day comes. Better cherish her now.

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Thank you, Cristina. I used to get annoyed with my mum, too, and roll my eyes when I saw yet another message from her waiting. But how I miss her now.

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Lovely piece. Stories are the generational connective tissue.

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Thank you, Anne Marie. I so agree. And thank you for sharing. Glad to connect with you here.

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Your family is made up of treasures. The love you have for them and them for each other is just gorgeous

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Thank you, Leah. Can’t find the emojis when I need them! All the hearts.

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Beautiful, Wendy. Delightful memories and heartwarming connections.

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Thank you, Ofifoto. Kind of you.

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Beautiful post, Wendy. Your mum sounds wonderful.

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Thank you, Keris. I was just reading your latest about your mum’s suitcase. So glad you have those keepsakes.

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Thank you! I was going to ask you if you keep ”finding” things you most likely already found, but you’re prob more organised than I am.

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I have boxes and bags still to sort through, Keris! Sorted to the extent I knew I wanted to keep them to look at properly when we cleared the house, but still here in my office waiting for me. An ongoing task.

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Oh amazing.

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Bit late to this great piece. It’s lovely to bring people back to life through writing. And it’s the first time I’ve read about a vole being superglued to a hand so thanks for that first. ;-)

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Heh! Thank you, Richard!

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You really brought your mom back to life in this piece. She had so much to offer to her children, grandchildren and animals as well! She literally "stuck" out a hand to the vole! That's a great gift to have all of those recorded voices, including hers, talking about her. She wrote about loss and she too was one of the "treasures of Creation." Thanks for sharing! I will think of my daughter Alix as also having been one of the "treasures" as well.

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Thank you, Julie, for your kind comment and for sharing. Yes, mum had such a generous spirit. We put the inscription “All things bright and beautiful” on her memorial stone, as she truly cared about all things!

Yes, indeed, Alix was a treasure of Creation. As are you.

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Wendy what an incredible inscription on your mother’s memorial stone! You honor her generous spirit and continue her ability to beautifully express in words both life and loss. I’m honored to have Alix and me included in the treasure of Creation along with you and your mum.

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That was so wonderful. When my mum died I was so scared about forgetting her voice but 30 years later I can remember as it were yesterday.

“The vole was a bit injured and had an open wound that you were keen to heal up.

“You got the Superglue out, and in trying to nurse this vole back to health and close up the wound, you accidentally glued it to your hand instead.”

I just lol’d on a train quite loudly at that.

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Thank you, Dean. I'm so glad you can still recall your mum's voice after 30 years. That's a long time to be without her.

Ha, yes! The vole incident is now family legend. How the heck did we dislodge it? I can't remember.

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Yeah, she was far too young.

I was going to ask! That’s the kind of story that will have me giggling as I’m falling asleep for years.

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Brilliant. The voice recordings are such a lovely way to preserve memories.

My granny was the one who would sirwe news and gossip around the family quicker than you could blink. My cousin once said despairingly to his mother about his exam results, "I suppose you've told Granny and she's told everyone else, the postman, the lady in Spar....". "The lady in Spar" is now our family shorthand for any fast spreading news.

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Oh, I bet The Lady In The Spar knew ALL the stories! Thank you, Fiona!

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Wendy, beautiful. Your writing keeps getting better. I’m in awe of your bandwidth of appreciation to remember so much and put it on paper and such a gorgeous way

Thank you it may be miss my mom and her voice. We used to speak every Sunday.

Lovely

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Thank you so much, Prajna. Did you keep any recordings of your mum, or do you have to rely on memory to hear her voice?

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She died at 83 very unexpectedly and did not expect that I would not talk to her again. But I do wish I would have. I can still hear her voice. We were very close.

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Ah, that’s a shame you have no recordings of her, Prajna, but memory is a wondrous thing.

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Damn it, Wendy. You made my eyes leak 😭 So many beautiful memories told with such tenderness ❤️ your mum sounds like an absolute gem. Sadly I don’t have this kind of relationship with my mum but I truly hope to break the cycle with my own kids. Your memories are just priceless

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Ah, thanks, Sara. Here, have a belated tissue. One for me too. Your comment made me mist up!

I realise how lucky I was to have a mum like that. Even when we had our moments - and we did! - I never doubted her faith in me. Sorry you haven’t had that experience. As you say, we can aim to improve things for our own children and break the cycle. Hugs.

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Hugs (and tissues) gratefully received and returned x

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What a stunning piece, Wendy. I think my favorite yet. Such beautiful memories and reflections of your mom. 💛

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Oh, thank you, Rob. Really kind of you.

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Your mum sounds lovely in every way - I adore that hedgehog list, so kind. My mum died when I was seventeen but I think about her multiple times every day and still surround myself with things that remind me of her: watching Coronation Street together, extra-strong mints, all things Mancunian and cheating - horribly and openly - at Scrabble!

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I'm sorry you've been so long without your mum, Sue. That's a formative age to lose a parent. I'm glad you've got things to remind you of her. Do you have lots of photos?

I'm lucky my parents stuck around so long – a "good innings", as they would have said. But there's that "eep" feeling that I'm nearer the end of the diving board now there's no older generation ahead of me on my side.

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I know that “eep” feeling well - and, thank you for your understanding.

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Deeply moved dear Wendy. Your story, your daughter's poem, and your lovely mum ....one of the "treasures of Creation".

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Thank you Andrea. What a lovely comment.

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"Missing my mum’s and dad’s voices prompted me to start writing this newsletter back in June. It struck me that it’s important to tell our stories while we can" Love this Wendy and so glad that you did. This is a lovely tribute and also I agree with the warning about escalators - so untrustworthy!

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Thank you, Faith.

Do you have history with escalators as well?! Mum’s phobia was a nightmare whenever she visited London.

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Ha ha no but I can see why others would, they just seem laden with potential pitfalls!

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My grandmother sent letters 'home' from Shanghai to her one daughter sent to school and to stay with aunts. These whisper things, tight typed aerogrammes are holograms of colonial life:

'rounding the Bay of Biscay, all Daddy and I could do was cling to our bunks while glasses, shoes and anything not tied down hurled about. A woman in third was thrown overboard and dear Henrietta Walding lost her front teeth'

So much memoir - so little time. This one way conversation between Mother and daughter flutters out of books, in the form of bookmarks left decades ago by my mother in her HG Wells and Woodhouse, and her mother's Somerset Maugham.

A great piece Wendy thank you and thank you Substack - You are an insomniacs dream.

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Thank you, Cherry.

Oh no, poor Henrietta Walding! Those bookmark notes sound fascinating. I’m thinking of Rosie’s suggestion about framing my mum’s hedgehog notes. Maybe you could do the same with the bookmarks?

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